I sit here with many emotions about today. I am feeling humbled, knowing I was chosen by God, which leads to another one, gratitude. I am also a little awed by the fact that I have been kept by him for these past 19 years. The words of Jesus have come true for me, "nothing with snatch them from my hand." I have sure been through a lot, but two things have helped me in my journey with God and the fight for the faith: FORGETTING and REMEMBERING.
I have had to forget hurts, my past and things or people I have wanted to hold on to, even if it wasn't good for me. I have been led by God to do so.
First, he decided to do that for us:
"I will forgive their wickedness and remember their sins no more." Hebrews 8:12
Then he helps me to do the same. I am so inspired by these words:
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" Isaiah 43:18-19a
And again,
"as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
Forgetting has kept my soul alive at times and has allowed me to "move on" and keep my eyes on the prize. I have had to battle for it, but God knows what we need and so I will keep forgetting as long as I live.
Again God leads us by example to remember:
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands" Isaiah 49:15-16a
Jesus said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." 1 Corinthians 11:24
I see those two scriptures as one. Jesus will never forget me because he took the nails in his hands for me. And as long as I remember him and follow him, I will remain in him. He gave his body and blood for me. Dwelling on that fills me with gratitude, love and a deep desire to devote everything I can.
In Hebrews 2:1 I am warned to remember:
"We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away."
I am convinced that I will do just that without daily going to the word for its guidance and clarity in my life. But I do believe that God wants me, in gratitude of heart, to simply remember all the goodness he has lavished on me day after day, year after year. It blows me away. The love, friendships, marriage, children, teachers, leaders, trials, protection, not to mention countless material blessings. The most incredible is simply remembering that I am wholeheartedly accepted, forgiven, loved and saved.
Thank you, father, for these 19 years with you. I will continue with a humbled heart to forget and I will go on with a grateful heart to remember.
