The Magic of Consistency

Before I had the honor of wearing the title of "Mom" I had lots of experience. I was an elementary teacher, a preschool teacher, a nanny, a babysitter...you name it, I did it! But certain aspects of the role still catch me off guard to this day. Case in point: my older boy just became a 3-year-old. He went from sweet and innocent to having his own mind and testing boundaries in what seemed like a day.

Well, mommy didn't handle it too well at first. I became flabbergasted at his every disregard of authority. I let his defiance send me into a tither, and I felt like for a good month I was grumpy, frustrated and constantly fixed into a high-decibel state of relating to him, if you could call it relating.

God, in his goodness, witnessed all of this and came to my aid in the form of my mom. It all came to a head one day when, in exhaustion I had just successfully put all four kids I watch down for a nap. Or so I thought. Dalton (the subject of this blog) decided to play. He got out of bed at least 6 times before I just lost it. I won't describe the scene in detail, but it was enough for my mom to feel the need to come in and help me. I was at my wit's end, crying and shaking and completely upset. I was going down a dark road that could only lead to trouble. She took me aside and, without judgement, let me tell her how I was feeling. That kindness alone helped me immensely. Note to self: never judge another parent.

My mom helped me to see that every time I became emotionally involved in Dalton's behavior I was taking it personally. HE was winning the battle when I lost control. It only seemed to make matters worse. The more angry and frustrated I became, the less he obeyed me. She gave me the best advice ever: no more letting him get to me. Stay consistent and let the discipline do the talking.

Later that night Dalton decided to get out of bed 6 times!! Normally that would have sent me through the roof. But, armed with my new plan, I experienced success in the midst of his challenge. I simply warned him of his consequence if he did it next time and calmly put him to bed and said good night. It took another 5 times, but he hasn't done it since! And now that is my way in general. Warn, discipline, stay calm and consistent, encourage and reward good behavior. HE RESPONDS!!

These scriptures gave me confidence and helped me to see that God is expecting me to discipline my children. It is not a choice, but something I must do to train them, protect them and send them in the right direction. I must take that responsibility very seriously and not let fear, laziness or sentimentality get in the way.

Proverbs 13:24

²⁴ Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

Proverbs 19:18

¹⁸ Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;
do not be a willing party to their death.

Proverbs 22:15

¹⁵ Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

Proverbs 23:13

¹³ Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.

Proverbs 29:17

¹⁷ Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.

Hebrews 12:11

¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I am truly enjoying him so much more now, and I am experiencing a great amount of peace as well. I hope the same for you!

Faith, Hope and Love Part 2

This morning I decided to study about HOPE in the Bible. Wow, I came away so encouraged, so amazed and grateful that God's word still inspires me and teaches me new things even after 18 years. There was much too much to cover in this post, but the overwhelming insight I gained was that HOPE IS THE WELLSPRING OF MY FAITH AND LOVE.

When I first put my hope in Jesus as a college student, I was deciding to believe in him, follow him, stay faithful to him and love others as he would love. FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE were working together, but they originated with my hope that Jesus is Lord and that one day he will appear again and take me to be with him in glory. One day he will reward me if I do not lose my firm grip on my hope. I know that if I do, my faith and love with also be lost. FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE do not exist on their own, but are interdependent. Here are some of the scriptures that inspired me: (but I encourage you to study it out on your own, it's amazing!)

Ephesians 1:18-19a I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the HOPE to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who BELIEVE.

Colossians 1:5 the FAITH and LOVE that spring from the HOPE stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel

1 Thessalonians 1:3 We remember before our God and Father your work produced by FAITH, your labor prompted by LOVE, and your endurance inspired by HOPE in our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:8 But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on FAITH and LOVE as a breastplate, and the HOPE of salvation as a helmet.

Hebrews 11:1 Now FAITH is confidence in what we HOPE for and assurance about what we do not see.

Do you see it? I was just amazed that I had never put that together before! FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE! It's God's perfect equation for our spiritual walk with him. These are the treasures stored up for us in Heaven. These are our eternal possessions.

I will close again with the scripture that I used yesterday, because it means so much more to me now:

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE. But the greatest of these is love.

I hope this encourages you as much as it encourages me. No, I hope it encourages you more.

Only These Three Remain

Any of us, if we have been here on the earth long enough, are accustomed to pain, tragedy, rejection, loss and grief.  Trouble and hardship go hand in hand with being alive.  Jesus even promised it - "In this world you will have trouble," he said, "but take heart, I have overcome the world!" (John 16:32-33)

I have been reading the book of John for the past couple of weeks and I finished it today with an obvious change of heart - I had an undeniable sense of hope.  Paul said it too, "Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  HOPE, they are telling us.  HOPE.  HOPE.

Hope is an incredible power.  Hope reminds you that your life is not aimless.  Hope makes even small events make sense.  It gives us vision when we feel so earthbound and small.  It fills the empty spaces with dreams and a certain future of majesty, perfection, love and beauty.  It truly gives us meaning in a life that can feel meaningless at times.  Truly, who hasn't at some point in life asked themselves, "Why am I here?"  Hope answers that question forever.

But then, as Paul says, "Hope that is seen is no hope at all."  (Romans 8:24)  It takes a great amount of faith to hold onto those dreams of what will be at the end of our lives as we remain faithful to Jesus with all of our hearts.  Faith is the spark to the flame, the gas in our engine.  Without faith we lose our hope and our dreams.

And finally, there is love.  Thankfully for me the Bible defines it for me.  I find particularly helpful the reminder that "if I have a faith that can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:2).  My faith, my service to God, my deeds for my fellow man must spring from love.  I will follow in vain if I follow for any other reason than love.  The three work together in perfect harmony, giving our hearts balance and keeping them reliant on God.

At the end of my life, which could be tomorrow or in 50 years, I will not be able to stand on what I chose for a career, how many friends I had, what my house looked like or even what people thought of me.  The only treasures that will stand the test of time are these:  "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)  Only these three remain.  God greatly treasures these three things.  If I can only take these with me, then I will give these things my attention and strive to grow.  For now, I am basking in the glow of hope.  I have a glorious future ahead!