The Magic of Consistency

Before I had the honor of wearing the title of "Mom" I had lots of experience. I was an elementary teacher, a preschool teacher, a nanny, a babysitter...you name it, I did it! But certain aspects of the role still catch me off guard to this day. Case in point: my older boy just became a 3-year-old. He went from sweet and innocent to having his own mind and testing boundaries in what seemed like a day.

Well, mommy didn't handle it too well at first. I became flabbergasted at his every disregard of authority. I let his defiance send me into a tither, and I felt like for a good month I was grumpy, frustrated and constantly fixed into a high-decibel state of relating to him, if you could call it relating.

God, in his goodness, witnessed all of this and came to my aid in the form of my mom. It all came to a head one day when, in exhaustion I had just successfully put all four kids I watch down for a nap. Or so I thought. Dalton (the subject of this blog) decided to play. He got out of bed at least 6 times before I just lost it. I won't describe the scene in detail, but it was enough for my mom to feel the need to come in and help me. I was at my wit's end, crying and shaking and completely upset. I was going down a dark road that could only lead to trouble. She took me aside and, without judgement, let me tell her how I was feeling. That kindness alone helped me immensely. Note to self: never judge another parent.

My mom helped me to see that every time I became emotionally involved in Dalton's behavior I was taking it personally. HE was winning the battle when I lost control. It only seemed to make matters worse. The more angry and frustrated I became, the less he obeyed me. She gave me the best advice ever: no more letting him get to me. Stay consistent and let the discipline do the talking.

Later that night Dalton decided to get out of bed 6 times!! Normally that would have sent me through the roof. But, armed with my new plan, I experienced success in the midst of his challenge. I simply warned him of his consequence if he did it next time and calmly put him to bed and said good night. It took another 5 times, but he hasn't done it since! And now that is my way in general. Warn, discipline, stay calm and consistent, encourage and reward good behavior. HE RESPONDS!!

These scriptures gave me confidence and helped me to see that God is expecting me to discipline my children. It is not a choice, but something I must do to train them, protect them and send them in the right direction. I must take that responsibility very seriously and not let fear, laziness or sentimentality get in the way.

Proverbs 13:24

²⁴ Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

Proverbs 19:18

¹⁸ Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;
do not be a willing party to their death.

Proverbs 22:15

¹⁵ Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

Proverbs 23:13

¹³ Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.

Proverbs 29:17

¹⁷ Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.

Hebrews 12:11

¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I am truly enjoying him so much more now, and I am experiencing a great amount of peace as well. I hope the same for you!

Faith, Hope and Love Part 2

This morning I decided to study about HOPE in the Bible. Wow, I came away so encouraged, so amazed and grateful that God's word still inspires me and teaches me new things even after 18 years. There was much too much to cover in this post, but the overwhelming insight I gained was that HOPE IS THE WELLSPRING OF MY FAITH AND LOVE.

When I first put my hope in Jesus as a college student, I was deciding to believe in him, follow him, stay faithful to him and love others as he would love. FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE were working together, but they originated with my hope that Jesus is Lord and that one day he will appear again and take me to be with him in glory. One day he will reward me if I do not lose my firm grip on my hope. I know that if I do, my faith and love with also be lost. FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE do not exist on their own, but are interdependent. Here are some of the scriptures that inspired me: (but I encourage you to study it out on your own, it's amazing!)

Ephesians 1:18-19a I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the HOPE to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who BELIEVE.

Colossians 1:5 the FAITH and LOVE that spring from the HOPE stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel

1 Thessalonians 1:3 We remember before our God and Father your work produced by FAITH, your labor prompted by LOVE, and your endurance inspired by HOPE in our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:8 But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on FAITH and LOVE as a breastplate, and the HOPE of salvation as a helmet.

Hebrews 11:1 Now FAITH is confidence in what we HOPE for and assurance about what we do not see.

Do you see it? I was just amazed that I had never put that together before! FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE! It's God's perfect equation for our spiritual walk with him. These are the treasures stored up for us in Heaven. These are our eternal possessions.

I will close again with the scripture that I used yesterday, because it means so much more to me now:

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE. But the greatest of these is love.

I hope this encourages you as much as it encourages me. No, I hope it encourages you more.

Only These Three Remain

Any of us, if we have been here on the earth long enough, are accustomed to pain, tragedy, rejection, loss and grief.  Trouble and hardship go hand in hand with being alive.  Jesus even promised it - "In this world you will have trouble," he said, "but take heart, I have overcome the world!" (John 16:32-33)

I have been reading the book of John for the past couple of weeks and I finished it today with an obvious change of heart - I had an undeniable sense of hope.  Paul said it too, "Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  HOPE, they are telling us.  HOPE.  HOPE.

Hope is an incredible power.  Hope reminds you that your life is not aimless.  Hope makes even small events make sense.  It gives us vision when we feel so earthbound and small.  It fills the empty spaces with dreams and a certain future of majesty, perfection, love and beauty.  It truly gives us meaning in a life that can feel meaningless at times.  Truly, who hasn't at some point in life asked themselves, "Why am I here?"  Hope answers that question forever.

But then, as Paul says, "Hope that is seen is no hope at all."  (Romans 8:24)  It takes a great amount of faith to hold onto those dreams of what will be at the end of our lives as we remain faithful to Jesus with all of our hearts.  Faith is the spark to the flame, the gas in our engine.  Without faith we lose our hope and our dreams.

And finally, there is love.  Thankfully for me the Bible defines it for me.  I find particularly helpful the reminder that "if I have a faith that can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:2).  My faith, my service to God, my deeds for my fellow man must spring from love.  I will follow in vain if I follow for any other reason than love.  The three work together in perfect harmony, giving our hearts balance and keeping them reliant on God.

At the end of my life, which could be tomorrow or in 50 years, I will not be able to stand on what I chose for a career, how many friends I had, what my house looked like or even what people thought of me.  The only treasures that will stand the test of time are these:  "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)  Only these three remain.  God greatly treasures these three things.  If I can only take these with me, then I will give these things my attention and strive to grow.  For now, I am basking in the glow of hope.  I have a glorious future ahead!

My True Enemy

You're both Christians. You love each other. You have made vows that you take very seriously. You believe in being married just once. He's your knight and you're his princess...but you fight and you hurt one another. It just doesn't add up - until you take into consideration another factor: YOUR TRUE ENEMY. Who is your TRUE enemy? It's not your spouse, that's for sure. It's not your children or your neighbor or your boss. It's not even that person that just doesn't seem to like you. No, I've come to realize that I have a sinister, scheming, crafty snake that just won't let up and laughs whenever I hurt someone or am myself in pain. MY TRUE ENEMY IS SATAN.

Believing in God and having Jesus as Lord are the foundations of my life, but if I forget who is warring against me, I can get lost in the battle and become discouraged. I was reminded of these things a while back when our family was on a road trip that lasted over 20 hours. Usually I prepare myself with enough sleep, a good time with God and we pray together for God to bless our trip and keep us safe. But Satan had a different plan. We were so rushed getting everything ready that we didn't stop to put God first, we left exhausted and we forgot to pray. Wow, I will never forget that trip. To say the least, it was pretty awful. What could have been a bonding family time was rife with irritation, unmet expectations, and arguments, not to mention the utter pride and selfishness. Satan had a blast.

Looking back, I was confident in my ability to be a good wife and in my husband's ability to be loving and patient. My confidence was in the wrong place and Satan made the most of the opportunity. I should know by now how weak I am without God's power and that only through Him can I be what I need to be to everyone around me. It motivates me to give even more and be alert knowing what Satan is up to and how much enjoyment he receives from our strife. The following scriptures truly prove the point:

1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

1 John 5:19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

So, I know that there are forces, DARK FORCES at work in our lives, especially if we choose to follow Christ! Check out this one:

Revelation 12:17 Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring—those who keep God’s commands and hold fast their testimony about Jesus.

Bone chilling? He is watching us and preparing for our demise: anything that will make us deny Christ and give up our faith. Will our marriage discourage us? For some, yes, and Satan knows it. So, are we to live in fear and defeat? No! For every scripture about the Evil One, there are a handful more about how to conquer evil, Satan, and even death itself. These give me strength:

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Romans 8:37-39 ³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Peter 3:8-14 ⁸ Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. ⁹ Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. ¹⁰ For,

“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
and their lips from deceitful speech.
¹¹ They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.
¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

¹³ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴ But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.

I could list countless more, but hopefully it's clear what I am trying to say. Good always wins. We might not see it, but in the end it will all be made clear. For now, I can only take it day by day and remember to put my confidence in God and walk closely with him, being careful to obey his commands and love my family, friends and fellow disciples as Jesus would, remembering the battle at hand and keeping watch for my enemy's next move. It's worth it. It works. God's word never fails.

You are what you eat!

I'm sitting here writing this blog while I enjoy a delicious crunchy snack. Chips? Pretzels? A granola bar? Cookies? Nope! SNOW PEAS. They are amazing! Sweet, satisfying and I can eat a million without any negative effects on my shape.

Speaking of shape, I am writing this to anyone who is frustrated with theirs and can't seem to figure out what to do. That's been me for the past 5 years. I guess I can't count the two in there while I was pregnant. I do not recommend you focus on getting your shape back while you are carrying a baby. But I don't plan on having more, so NOW'S THE TIME!!

Can you relate? You know you need to work on shedding the "great unwanted" but you just don't know where to start? Or you've tried and the pounds just won't come off? Well, it finally dawned on me the other day: YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! I was watching "Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition" last night and the lady of the week weighed 456 pounds but get this: SHE WAS MALNOURISHED!! All that food and no nutrition. So her body stubbornly held on to food trying to search for small amounts of vitamins and minerals. She was eating fast food almost exclusively, and the times she wasn't she was eating processed, quick and easy microwave meals. She was miserable.

Food isn't the enemy, it's the KIND of food that kills our dream shape. So, I have been learning so much about eating more and avoiding certain foods like an enemy to my body. The enemies I am learning about are:

1. Sugar - it raises your insulin, signaling the body to store fat. It's also processed, so your body doesn't know how to process it well.
2. Fake fats - margarine, veggie oil (not olive oil or coconut oil, they are awesome). Again, the body sees these and says, "huh?"
3. Chemicals - they overload the kidneys and liver and keep them from doing their job.
4. Processed foods - These are loaded with sodium, sugar, chemicals and trans fats - all of which are harmful to the body.
5. Many breads, crackers and baked goods - The body reads these just like sugar and again the insulin goes up.
6. Fruit juice - same problem - sugar! Even natural juice is just too much sugar for the body.

Another enemy is dehydration. I must give myself a constant flow of good clean water to keep my organs functioning well - as we have all heard, we are about 80% water anyway. I forget that so often.

We have been created by God to eat whole foods in good portions. If it's from the ground it's probably good for me. The least amount of steps it takes from the earth to my mouth, the better for my body.

It's been so satisfying to eat this way in every way. It's been fun to see the pounds come off too!

Top 5 Things that affect a garden (literally or figruatively)

If you read my blog (I hope you do!) then you know that I like to be concise and sometimes keep things to a "Top 10" or a list. Well, tonight at around 8:30 I decided to go outside and pull some weeds. Everyone was in bed (including my sick hubby) and it was cool, quiet and light out. Perfect. But while I was working, I had such a clear vision of my beautiful garden and what keeps it growing - as a metaphor for my heart as well.

I have been learning so much these past few months about gardening, but it's been inspiring me spiritually as well. In John 15 Jesus tells us that God himself is a gardener and that we are his garden. So, it's very logical that the literal things that affect the health of an actual garden match up with the figurative things that affect my heart, God's garden. As I was pulling weeds I came up with the "Top 5" things that affect my garden:

1. Literal - MOISTURE As much as my garden and flowers love the direct sunlight, they will quickly wither and die in a few days without daily moisture.
Figurative - GOD'S WORD As much as I love God, I cannot follow him without his word in my daily life.

Isaiah 55 says:
¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

The MOISTURE of water make my plants bud and flourish just as GOD'S WORD makes my heart bud and flourish.

2. Literal - WEEDS They grow quickly and will take over within weeks. They must be consistently pulled from the root so they won't choke the other plants and steal their resources.
Figurative - SIN I can't underestimate the power of my sinful nature. I must live a life of openness and take my sin seriously, removing from my heart at it's root. It's a daily battle.

Genesis 4 says: ⁷ If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.
James 5 says: ¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. I could also mention 1 John 1 and 2. These encourage me to "weed" my heart so that my sin never takes over.

3. Literal - SUNLIGHT In varying degrees plants need it to survive, especially the ones that bear fruit.
Figurative - PRAYER/INTIMACY WITH GOD We are all spiritual beings, created with a need to worship in order to survive.

John 15 says: ⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

We literally WITHER without intimacy with Jesus. We BEAR MUCH FRUIT when we are near to him.

4. Literal - SOIL Rocks, nutrients, clay, sand, slope, fertilizer and drainage all affect how well a plant will do.
Figurative - FAITH Just like a plant cannot grow without soil, spirituality cannot grow without faith.

2 Peter 1 says: ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

A nourished and fertilized faith is a productive one.

5. Literal - SENSITIVITY A good gardener knows the needs of his plants. I had a rose bush that was dying in my front yard. I moved it to another area and it thrived.
Figurative - SENSITIVITY The Spirit is always at work on God's behalf. It requires a connection to the Spirit to discern the will of God in our lives. Sensitivity also protects us from becoming religious and worshiping God out of habit or for men.

Jeremiah 29 says: ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Just like I had better plans for the rosebush, God has the perfect plan for us if we seek him wholeheartedly.

As a side note, it's interesting that gardens are usually formed out of a beautiful variety of plants existing together and enhancing the qualities of each other. I believe God's plan is for a variety of people to exist together and worship him as one, helping one another here on earth until we all stand before God one day. Personally, my heart's survival depends on it.

Take care and may your garden grow beautiful things!

Hebrews 11 Rewritten

What if Hebrews 11, instead of "by faith" everything said "by fear?"
I believe that fear is the polar opposite of faith. If we didn't have these heroes to turn to, where would we be? Let's check it out:

¹ Now FEAR is NO confidence in what we hope for and NO assurance about what we do not see.

⁷ By FEAR Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, KNEW HE SHOULD OBEY BUT THE CROWD INTIMIDATED HIM. HE AND HIS FAMILY DIED IN THE FLOOD AND THE WORLD ENDED.

⁸ By FEAR Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, IGNORED GOD, BECAUSE IT WAS TOO STRESSFUL TO NOT KNOW where he was going.

¹¹ And by FEAR even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, FORFEITED THE OPPORTUNITY to bear children because she DID NOT considered him faithful who had made the promise.

²³ By FEAR Moses’ parents DID NOT hide him FROM THE EGYPTIANS EVEN THOUGH they saw he was no ordinary child, and they WERE afraid of the king’s edict. MOSED DIED ALONG WITH ALL OF THE OTHER HEBREW CHILDREN. NO ONE CAME TO THE ISRAELITES' RESCUE.

BUT EVEN IF ANOTHER SAVIOR CAME, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITHOUT FAITH?

²⁹ By FEAR the people FAILED TO pass through the Red Sea as on dry land so, they were drowned.

³² And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, ³³ who through FEAR FAILED TO conquer kingdoms, administer justice, and gain what was promised; who WERE DEVOURED BY the mouths of lions, ³⁴ CONSUMED BY the flames, and DID NOT escape the edge of the sword; whose weakness was NEVER turned to strength; and who DID NOT become powerful in battle and route foreign armies. ³⁵ Women DID NOT receive back their dead, raised to life again.

Jesus is our savior, no doubt, but had any one of these heroes of the faith decided not to be courageous and righteous and trade fear for faith, over and over the people of God would have perished and we would not be here. Most of them faced terrifying circumstances and terrible odds, but decided to believe and overcome. I am inspired! We never know the impact we will have in the big picture by choosing faith.