The Magic of Consistency

Before I had the honor of wearing the title of "Mom" I had lots of experience. I was an elementary teacher, a preschool teacher, a nanny, a babysitter...you name it, I did it! But certain aspects of the role still catch me off guard to this day. Case in point: my older boy just became a 3-year-old. He went from sweet and innocent to having his own mind and testing boundaries in what seemed like a day.

Well, mommy didn't handle it too well at first. I became flabbergasted at his every disregard of authority. I let his defiance send me into a tither, and I felt like for a good month I was grumpy, frustrated and constantly fixed into a high-decibel state of relating to him, if you could call it relating.

God, in his goodness, witnessed all of this and came to my aid in the form of my mom. It all came to a head one day when, in exhaustion I had just successfully put all four kids I watch down for a nap. Or so I thought. Dalton (the subject of this blog) decided to play. He got out of bed at least 6 times before I just lost it. I won't describe the scene in detail, but it was enough for my mom to feel the need to come in and help me. I was at my wit's end, crying and shaking and completely upset. I was going down a dark road that could only lead to trouble. She took me aside and, without judgement, let me tell her how I was feeling. That kindness alone helped me immensely. Note to self: never judge another parent.

My mom helped me to see that every time I became emotionally involved in Dalton's behavior I was taking it personally. HE was winning the battle when I lost control. It only seemed to make matters worse. The more angry and frustrated I became, the less he obeyed me. She gave me the best advice ever: no more letting him get to me. Stay consistent and let the discipline do the talking.

Later that night Dalton decided to get out of bed 6 times!! Normally that would have sent me through the roof. But, armed with my new plan, I experienced success in the midst of his challenge. I simply warned him of his consequence if he did it next time and calmly put him to bed and said good night. It took another 5 times, but he hasn't done it since! And now that is my way in general. Warn, discipline, stay calm and consistent, encourage and reward good behavior. HE RESPONDS!!

These scriptures gave me confidence and helped me to see that God is expecting me to discipline my children. It is not a choice, but something I must do to train them, protect them and send them in the right direction. I must take that responsibility very seriously and not let fear, laziness or sentimentality get in the way.

Proverbs 13:24

²⁴ Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

Proverbs 19:18

¹⁸ Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;
do not be a willing party to their death.

Proverbs 22:15

¹⁵ Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

Proverbs 23:13

¹³ Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.

Proverbs 29:17

¹⁷ Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.

Hebrews 12:11

¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I am truly enjoying him so much more now, and I am experiencing a great amount of peace as well. I hope the same for you!