10 Signs You Need to Lose the Baby Weight

You know you need to lose the baby weight if:

1. You're still wearing maternity clothes - and it's been 5 years since you had the baby.

2. People are smiling sweetly at you and letting you go ahead of them in line.

3. Your highest criteria in selecting clothing is "stretchy".

4. The "junk in the trunk" has overflowed to the entire car.

5. You hear, "Oh what an adorable little chubby thing!" and they are referring to YOU.

6. Apples and pears not only feed you, they DESCRIBE you.

7. You've forgotten that eating for two ends when you have the baby.

8. Your husband is referred to as your "lesser half" LITERALLY.

9. You experience a mild "girth-quake" when you walk.

10. You've heard the question, "When are you due?" in the last week.

Keep the faith! Hope this made you laugh in the midst of it all!

Diary of a Mad Christian Woman

8:30 A.M. Dear Diary, I went to an awesome marriage retreat this weekend and I was super inspired to work on being more submissive to my husband. I learned so much and I grew in my convictions as to why my husband needs my respect.  I feel so refreshed and excited to change!

8:33 A.M. Dear Diary, I went into the kitchen just minutes after writing and got into an argument with my husband about the dishes. Ugh... feeling disappointed but not giving up!

8:49 A.M. Dear Diary, I just got off the phone with my husband and ended up hanging up on him because I got my feelings hurt. I'm not feeling so confident any more about these big changes I wanted to make. What to do...

9:12 A.M. Dear Diary, I think I will try again next year.  I'm exhausted.  I need a nap.

No, this is not my actual diary, but it sure could be.  I find myself inspired about something and decide to  make changes only to become discouraged when I realized how difficult it might be or how far I am from my goal.  Yes, it makes me feel MAD (a little crazy)!  My mind and heart deeply desire to go in one direction, but my emotions take over and hijack the plane.  What's going on?  Am I indeed crazy?

No, I am not, and neither are you, if you can relate at all to my dilemma.  Paul writes in Romans 7:

¹⁴ We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

 And he also writes in Galatians 5:

¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.

So, it's true then, that I can actually be at war against myself!  So what is the answer?  Well, that is why I blog, my friends.  I had the most reassuring revelation the other day.  Proverbs 2 says:

³ indeed, if you call out for insight
   and cry aloud for understanding,
⁴ and if you look for it as for silver
   and search for it as for hidden treasure,
⁵ then you will understand the fear of the LORD
   and find the knowledge of God.
 ¹⁰ For wisdom will enter your heart,
   and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
¹¹ Discretion will protect you,
   and understanding will guard you.

Wow!!  I only have to ask and God himself will give me a different heart and mind.  Amazing! 
So, I sheepishly admit that I truly am working on respecting my husband more.  It seemed like the moment I seriously decided on that path, our conflicts seem to rise as well.  But this time I prayed that incredible Proverbs 2 prayer and it worked!!  I do believe that the conflicts were God's tool to show me my starting point, as if he was saying, "Precious daughter, I know you want to change and I see this time you are ready to do the work.  As painful as it might be, however, I must show you the current state of your heart so you will know the truth about yourself."  In order for me to change I must know where I am at right now.  This time I didn't let the conflicts discourage me.  I stayed steadfast in prayer and God is changing my heart and giving me vision of the "new me."  It's a journey, but I do believe he is setting me on the right path.

I leave you with a final promise; one that I hold onto and love.  In Romans 12 it says:

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

That's right, don't be a Mad Christian Woman!  But be a woman and change your mind!  The rest will follow!

Closed Doors, Open Windows

"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."

I love that quote from "The Sound of Music," my favorite movie. The main character, Maria, waited all her life to be a nun. She loved God and wanted to serve him. Small problem, she just wasn't good at it, being a nun I mean. So, she was sent to widower George Von Trapp to care for his seven children. Door slammed, window opened. Eventually she went on to marry him and become the mother of his brood and they toured the world as a musical group. Inspiring story. Much better use of Maria in God's eyes.

I love her story because when the door shut on her dream she didn't waste time banging on the door. She looked for the open window, for through it she knew God would lead her to her destiny.

I too have had a CLOSED DOOR, OPEN WINDOW week. But unlike Maria, God had to shut this particular door several times. I sat by the door for years and cried. I wondered why the door was shut. I read books on how to open it. I tried to get others to open it. I found the peep hole and tried to live vicariously through those inside. I guess the window just seemed plain, small, unable to lead me to a better place. Plus, it was so high up. It would require me to reach and climb and strive to really see what was waiting outside.

This time the door slammed I only lost a day or two - a record for me. I immediately surrounded myself with amazing friends who could recognize the amazing OPPORTUNITY this closed door really was!! It wasn't a divine rejection or an invitation to try harder. No, this was a pathway to my true destiny. This time when I looked at the window it was large and beautiful, with intricate stained-glass and beveled edges. It took my breath away and I couldn't wait to open it.

Spiritually what was going on was a war between The Enemy and The Good Shepherd. One was trying to discourage me, whispering lies like, "You're not good enough," and "You're nothing." But I know better. Jesus says in John 10:5 "But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice." And in verse 10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." God's plan for me is a full life and "a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

I am "dearly loved" (Colossians 3:12)"chosen by God and precious to him (1Peter 2:4). He doesn't want me to waste away sitting by a CLOSED DOOR. He doesn't want me to doubt his plan or his love. No, when God shuts a door, he wants me to reach for that open window and climb through, for he is leading me to my destiny.

Great Expectations

Expectations, if not handled delicately, are the great stumbling stone to our happiness. Have you ever thought to yourself, "It MUST be this way," or "I bet he's going to..." or "This day is going t be just perfect!" Ugh. It seems like the thought just about has time to complete itself before something comes along to burst your bubble. Someone forgets the time or forgets the directions or forgets your birthday or forgets his wallet or just plain forgets her manners. Or, have you ever been SURE that you and your soul mate were on the same page only to find out that not only were you not on the same page, you weren't even in the same library! Assumptions, assumptions - they get us into more trouble!!

Funny, McDonald's might be a nostalgic, fun meal spontaneously, but take me there on a date and I would have to work on my attitude. Same fries, just different EXPECTATIONS. Of course, some are good and healthy (not fries, expectations). But, like a prescription, they work wonders on ourselves but wreak havoc on others. I can expect myself to love my children with all my heart, serve them, discipline them diligently, know the minutia of their hearts' needs...but expect that of others? Not fair. I can push myself to even love my spouse fully, doing my darnedest to anticipate what will encourage him and help him feel valued and loved... but even to expect the same in return gets me into trouble. In the end, the only one I can "control" is me. The only one I understand is me. I constantly find myself needing to try on others' shoes and walk awhile, or pray about the things that "ruffle my feathers." I still have to practice saying "I'm sorry," because I'm not perfect at it yet.

Granted, Paul the apostle was never married, but he gives me the key when I get stuck.

In Romans 15:7 he writes, "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." And then in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 he says simply, "give thanks in all circumstances." For me, acceptance and being thankful gets me out of trouble every time. If I can check my emotions for a time I can usually begin to see the heart behind the matter. I stumble at many points, but as I go forward I will strive to keep all GREAT EXPECTATIONS for myself.

My Negev

Today is special. Eighteen years ago today at about this time I was reading Psalm 23 over and over, gaining strength from its words. I was about to make the best, most awesome and frightening decision. I was about to make Jesus my Lord and become his bride. The words from David soothed my soul in verse 6 of Psalm 23, "Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." A sense of belonging, of being cherished and loved overwhelmed me. The knowledge of being forgiven and being given a new start filled me with peace. Knowing all that Jesus had done for me gave me a purpose for my life and a deep meaning. I was overjoyed.

I guess that was my parting of the red sea moment, getting into the Pacific Ocean in February to be baptized. But then the "wandering in the desert" began. God was always there to comfort me and make his presence known, but I often questioned him about his plan, "God, why can't I just be in Heaven with you? Why do I have to stay here?" It's painful to be refined, to see yourself clearly, to hurt others, to be disciplined by God himself, to feel distance from him, to be tested by him. Like Paul said, we groan until we are clothed with salvation. Deuteronomy 8 sums it up quite well, God's plan for our personal "Negev" experience:

² Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. ³ He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. ⁴ Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. ⁵ Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you.

I learned in "my Negev" that God knows me intimately. I learned that he wants to meet my needs, but he is always training me to go to HIM to meet them. I learned that he is my true father, and that just as he faithfully led the Israelites to the promised land, he will do the same for me. I have never been let down by his discipline or his plan. Yes, following Jesus and knowing God was the best decision I ever made, and, another 18 years from now I will still be earnestly seeking him in MY NEGEV.

Give it 5 Years

Today marks the 5th anniversary of an unforgettable night in my life. I spent hours making myself beautiful. My boyfriend, Joe, arrived on time with a bouquet of red roses. We drove into the sunset and arrived at a tiny park up above the Mississippi River in St. Paul, Minnesota. Joe pulled out a rather large satin box of chocolates and presented them with a smile and a "Happy Valentines Day!" He seemed a tad nervous. I opened the box and right there in front of me was ....chocolate. Ugh. "I thought he was proposing," I grumbled. But wait, did I see something else? I opened the box again and saw a small corner of tissue paper peeking out from under a morsel. I lifted the truffle and there it was! My sapphire and diamond sparkler was wrapped demurely and waiting for me. I took off the tissue and, shaking, lifted it up to take in its beauty. My boyfriend, now on one knee, asked me the question I had waited to hear all my life..."Ashley Elizabeth Nelson, will you be my wife?" I do believe the sun set at that exact moment...and the rest, as they say, is history.

And they lived happily ever after, right? Hmmm well...not at first. Not when you take all of our differences. I'm almost 10 years older, had been out of college for 10 years and had come from a very stable, "traditional" home where mom and dad truly loved each other. Joe, on the other hand, had just graduated college 3 months prior and was raised by a single mother. In fact, there were moments during our engagement when I literally asked myself, "What have you gotten yourself into?" On paper it seemed highly unlikely that we would be compatible. It made more sense that we would be highly COMBATIBLE.

But I had one, great thing to which I clung: my faith in God. His promises never fail. He is always faithful to his people. His timing is perfect and I knew it was my time to marry this man, Joe my prince. I remember hearing a distinct whisper that anchored my soul, "GIVE IT 5 YEARS." But what did that mean?

The Bible speaks of SEASONS and TIMING in Ecclesiastes 3
¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

But perhaps my favorite verse in this passage comes a little later in verse 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. God was saying to me, "It will take time but your marriage will be beautiful. GIVE IT 5 YEARS. You'll see the worst in eachother but GIVE IT 5 YEARS. You'll say and do things you wish you never did but GIVE IT 5 YEARS. You'll lose your dreams but GIVE IT 5 YEARS. You'll become exhausted and worn down by life but GIVE IT 5 YEARS. The demands of young children will overwhelm you but GIVE IT 5 YEARS.... and then you'll just begin to understand in my infinite wisdom why I led you to marry Joe. I love you and always want the best for you. Just stay faithful to me and I will do the rest (Matthew 6:33)."

Well, tonight marks 5 years to the day of that whisper and I write with a lump in my throat when I think of all the amazing things that have transpired for me and Joe. We have two beautiful boys and new dreams in our hearts. Our love grows deeper and richer and has truly become a BEAUTIFUL THING. I have hope for even more amazing things along our journey together, as imperfect as we are. I can hold on to those words and know that my God always knows the perfect time for everything under heaven.

The Color of Love

No one has an excuse to "forget" Valentine's Day. Hearts and cupids are prominently on display in every consumer area from Starbucks to Safeway, reminding us to pay special attention to the ones we love. Well, the marketing paid off - it got me thinking. WHY IS RED THE COLOR OF LOVE? And then I considered the real Valentine behind the holiday.

In the 3rd century there was a Roman priest under Claudius' rule. Claudius had prohibited marriage in order to keep his soldiers focused and unafraid of dying. He reasoned that an unmarried soldier wouldn't have anyone to stay alive for and therefore fight with more courage.
Valentine, a faithful believer, was passionate about being able to unite lovers under God's blessing. He began to marry young couples in secret - that is, until Claudius discovered and imprisoned him.

Valentine was eventually beaten, stoned and beheaded. He shed his blood for love.

Valentine is a hero, but he was ultimately following another man who died and shed his own blood. He was inspired by the life and death of Jesus.

Red is the color of blood. Red is the color of sacrifice. True love always involves sacrifice, or it isn't true. When we love fully we are willing to do whatever it takes to prove that love, even to the point of death. Jesus taught us that. 1 John 4:19 says, "We love because he first loved us." How do we KNOW? Wow, how could we NOT KNOW? He died and shed his blood.

So, be filled with joy as you "see red" this month. It's a reminder of the unsurpassed love that God has for you. RED IS THE COLOR OF LOVE.