Spain Part 4

We made it! I am writing this from a hotel called Alboran, in a city called Algeciras. We just finished dinner of atun, patatas, arroz cubana y helado. We are at the tip of southern Spain. I cannot adequately describe the beauty of what I have just seen, having driven 3 hours throught the mountains on our slow descent to the sea. The land is untouched and looks as if it must have for thousands of years. From the olive groves at the top to the orange groves at the bottom it was simply surreal. Unforgettable.

This modern hotel vastly different from where we have been for the last two days, a country paradise called Cinco Lunas, a bed and breakfast little inn that a man named Gonzalo built with his own two hands. It was impossible to find, but amazing when we did. Situated near the hill town of Zahara de la Sierra, in the hills of Andalusia, about 40 km from Ronda, it is an untouched feast for the eyes. The soul breathes a deep sigh. Gonzalo and Anja have two small children, Merlin and Marai, who were the ages of our children. The couple have sheep, chickens, olives, apricots, nuts, figs, oranges, all kinds of organic veggies and breads and cheese. They make their own olive oil. A stream runs through their little slice of Heaven where green hills snuggle them in. Everywhere you look nature beckons you to come and enjoy, eat drink and be merr.

Our kids, 3 and 1 have been absolute troopers, patiently enduring and even enjoying the worst of it, like our 13 hour car trip from Valencia. We left at 7AM and headed south west towards Cordoba. What an amazing little city. Ancient and beautiful, with cobblestone streets and the largest mosque in Spain, built in the 15th century. We then drove to Andalucia and got lost. But getting lost in Spain is a treat. You encounter charming small towns and farms and the sunset seems to last forever.

Today we head to Gibraltar. We forgot our passports at home, so we can't go to Morocco today, but at least I will be able to put my foot on the very tip of Spain.

Finally, I must give God the glory. At every perilous turn, every worry, every uncertainty, I felt his guidance and he kept us safe and answered our prayers. More to come. Today will certainly be another unforgettable time.

Spain Part 3

I sit here with an excitement, the kind you feel when you're off to an amazing and unexpected adventure. As all three of us, Joe, his mom and I are pretty spontaneous, this morning we decided to rent a car and drive 8 hours south to Sevilla, near Gibraltar and the tip of North Africa, Morocco. However, it took us several hours to procure a vehicle, which would have placed us in Sevilla sometime after midnight, which none of us were too excited about. So, tomorrow we are off!! Which means you must tune in to Spain Part 4.

But I hope this entry doesn't disappoint. Well, things just kept increasing in interest and beauty after I left off at the beach. I have to admit, the beach was so wonderful that I went back the next day all alone and took a very long walk and watched the sunset. A salty old dude decided to walk with me, a life-long Valencian. We got along just fine with bits of both our mother tongues as we walked along. He sang me a song in Spanish as if he were an old movie star and I was a beautiful senorita. It was wonderful. I felt perfectly safe, as he was gentle and very old.

One thing we knew we would do beforehand was to check out the Oceanographic, Valencia's amazing aquarium. We spent all day oohing and ahhing like children at the creatures, and we took in a fun dolphin and trainer show. We ate at a restaurant called The Submarine, which was fine dining as if you were inside the sea. The fish swam all around us in an infinity aquarium. It was breathtaking.

It was fun to celebrate Christmas Eve here in Valencia. Kathy and I walked to the beautiful Central Market where we bought an leg of lamb, mint, lemon thyme, salad, baked pumpkin (a treat here), fresh bread, lox, cream cheese, a special cream filled log cake, asparagus and mushrooms (the lox and cream cheese were for Christmas morning, something I have been eating on Christmas morning since I was little). It was a wonderful feast, having prepared the lamb seared and braised with rosemary, garlic, onions, carrots olive oil, broth and white wine. We dined with red wine and candles and ended the night with my personal Christmas Eve favorite, "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart. For once the streets were quiet, as most were home with their families.

The next day my very ambitious mother-in-law planned a train ride to Segunt for a hike to an ancient castle in ruins, then a visit to the Bancaja Nativity, the largest in Europe. Segunt is like something out of a movie, with narrow cobblestone streets, whitewashed or bright row houses, colorful verandas with flowers, and ancient Roman ruins. It wore me out but I am so glad we saw it. The nativity was a miniature recreation of the whole story of Jesus' birth - Jerusalem, Bethlehem, Egypt, the Temple...wow.

I must admit I was refreshed to not be reminded so heavily of Christmas in a commercial way like I am in America. We had a rustic, romantic, warm time that will forever stand out in my memory as one of my favorites. Dalton was perfectly thrilled with a tiny Christmas sock (we didn't have stockings) with a couple of chocolates and a some candy and a small wooded drum. For us it was more about the experiences we were having and the joy of simply being together in Spain.

I truly hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!! More to come...

Spain Part 2

I know it's silly to say only after 3 1/2 days in a foreign country that you already have a favorite day, but this one will be hard to beat. If you know me, you know I am a "California girl", complete with an undeniable love affair with the beach. Well, we had the most wonderful afternoon at the Mediterranean seaside. Let me fill you in with all the details.

We woke up late, as Joe's mom informed us is the usual Spanish way, had a cafe con leche, a pastry and caught the Metro for a quick jaunt to the beach. It was sunny and in the low 60's, perfecto!! Dalton and Fielding immediately busied themselves with sand, rocks and water, filling each and every crevice of their bodies with sand, the finest and softest I had ever felt before. The sea was a deep blue and the waves were perfectly mellow, just the right setting for a peaceful prayer walk and some shell scouting.

Two of my other loves are pottery and antiques, so the next thing that happened truly delighted my soul. As I started to search for an unforgettable stone to bring home or some beach glass, instead I started to find ancient pottery shards. Oh my goodness, I was in heaven. I must have picked up a couple of pounds of the stuff, but it is beautiful and old and will always remind me of this perfect day.

After frolicking for a couple of hours, we took a nice walk along the sea and then stopped at a tapas restarant and had ensalada Valenciana, gambas fritas, papas fritas, hamburgesa, queso manchego and of course, cerveza. It was right on the beach too. AHHH my beach fix for now.

Yesterday was really special too, as Kathy's headmaster Sara had us over for a very special lunch complete with champagne, wine, and many special Spanish foods. She really spoiled us.

It's been heavenly so far...and if you're interested there is more to come. We love the culture of walking everywhere, taking it easy, enjoying eachother and savoring amazing foods. I feel like I am on a second honeymoon, Valencia is muy romantico!!

Spain 2011 Part 1

December 17

I am sitting on the bed in Kathy's (Joe's mom) apartment in Valencia, Spain. I am listening to the washing machine upstairs and the sounds of dinner cooking. The kids are peacefully napping. We will be up much later than normal, as that is the way in Espana, no? Today was our first full day. We woke up late, got ready and went out for hamon y queso bocadillas, cafe y orange juice, freshly squeezed from the Valecia oranges here. Wow, nothing better. We went to an amazing marketplace inside an ancient building complete with beautiful cielings and views. It was bustling and everywhere I looked there were amazing treats for my mouth and eyes. Cerano ham, fresh fruits, cheeses, nuts, fish...we will eat the fruits of our labor tonight..fresh salmon. It was fun to see everyone so relaxed, sitting and sipping cerveza or cafe and enjoying the beautiful sunny day. It must have been in the 60's, a truly perfect day.

I have been praying a lot for God's help and protection. Yesterday, our long travel day, was truly a lesson in relying on God. Before weo left on the 15th I got down on my knees and begged God to not only keep us and the plane safe but to bless every aspect of the trip, every layover, each connecting flight, everything. I know He was with us. The kids were amazing all day, even after 21 hours of travel. There was a play area in the Madrid airport that was a lifesaver. It had a huge sink and changing area, just in time to solve Dalton's "poopmergency". The lady who worked there just loved the kids and called them "dulces" or sweet. There was the sweetest lady named Cristina from Costa Rica on our last flight from Madrid to Valencia. We were bone tired and she was fascinated with the kids, which really helped this sleepy mama. After an over-priced taxi ride to Kathy's house, we took a minute to get settled and then went to dinner at Cuervas, a tapas restuarant down below. We had stuffed eggplant, fried brie with currant jelly, chicken croquets, shrimp skewers, baguettes and beer. It was heavenly. Our tuckered little ones fell right asleep. Fielding woke up a few times to talk and have more milk, but he awoke happy and ready for the day today.

Thanks so much, Lord, for blessing our trip already. It's been amazing so far...more to come!

Happy Green Year!

"We do not inhertit the planet from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children." ~Anonymous

I was recently inspired by someone in Hollywood. Her name is Alicia Silverstone and she starred in "Clueless" in the 90's. She, although not limited in monetary resources, decided to make some changes to be more responsible to the environment. She now buys everything she can second hand as well as eats organic foods, among other things. I love it! She does it out of love for the Earth and to give her children a gift: a healthier environment.

So, I decided to list a few of the things our family has been doing to be more environmentally responsible, just in time for the New Year.

1. We meet our household's needs mostly second-hand.
- Thrift stores are amazing for clothing, decorative items and even gifts.
- Craig's List has blown us away as far as what you can get for your money. Ridiculous prices for gently used furniture and appliances. Heck, I even got my maternity clothes from there!

2. We buy a share from a local farm.
- Flavorful, organic and seasonal veggies for a fraction of what you would pay at the store.
- Supports local farms.
- Teaches our children the value of foods and how to eat in a healthy way.
- Keeps me on my toes in the kitchen and helps me learn how to cook all kinds of veggies.

3. We grow our own foods.
- It's been so fun for our family to grow, tend and eat from a garden.
- Great, timeless lessons for our sons and super, healthy food. You can taste the sunshine!

4. Barter or trade with neighbors and friends.
- We paid nothing for our "latest" (not new) vehicle because a friend needed ours and we
needed his. We just traded!

5. Obvious, ok, but RECYCLE!!
- So much more can be recycled than we know.

6. Buy organic.
- We consume so many toxins and pesticides than aren't found in or on organic foods.

7. Which leads me to my next one: cut down on the box, bag or can.
- I find it almost impossible to do away with certain prepackaged goods, but KNOWING what
goes into our meals at home gives me great peace of mind.
- Less packaging to end up in the landfill.
- Less chemicals to end up in our bodies and brains.
- Whole food cooking and eating is just good for our general health, helping us to fight off
diseases and turn back the clock.

8. Wear layers at home.
- We really don't need to overheat our homes if we layer even inside.
- Saves on energy and cuts down on those beloved bills.

9. Use what you have.
- Often I find what I need right at home if I look hard enough.
- Become need driven instead of want driven.

10. Donate what you aren't using.
- Your local Goodwill or ARC will thank you for helping their cause with your wonderful, gently
used items that no longer fit, are needed or go with your decor.

It really feels good to live this way. I know it's not for everyone, but it's amazing how much money we have saved and how good we feel about these changes. Next stop: COMPOSTING!! I'm just not there yet...

Happy Green Year!
What have you done to GO GREEN? I would love to know...

The Magic of Consistency

Before I had the honor of wearing the title of "Mom" I had lots of experience. I was an elementary teacher, a preschool teacher, a nanny, a babysitter...you name it, I did it! But certain aspects of the role still catch me off guard to this day. Case in point: my older boy just became a 3-year-old. He went from sweet and innocent to having his own mind and testing boundaries in what seemed like a day.

Well, mommy didn't handle it too well at first. I became flabbergasted at his every disregard of authority. I let his defiance send me into a tither, and I felt like for a good month I was grumpy, frustrated and constantly fixed into a high-decibel state of relating to him, if you could call it relating.

God, in his goodness, witnessed all of this and came to my aid in the form of my mom. It all came to a head one day when, in exhaustion I had just successfully put all four kids I watch down for a nap. Or so I thought. Dalton (the subject of this blog) decided to play. He got out of bed at least 6 times before I just lost it. I won't describe the scene in detail, but it was enough for my mom to feel the need to come in and help me. I was at my wit's end, crying and shaking and completely upset. I was going down a dark road that could only lead to trouble. She took me aside and, without judgement, let me tell her how I was feeling. That kindness alone helped me immensely. Note to self: never judge another parent.

My mom helped me to see that every time I became emotionally involved in Dalton's behavior I was taking it personally. HE was winning the battle when I lost control. It only seemed to make matters worse. The more angry and frustrated I became, the less he obeyed me. She gave me the best advice ever: no more letting him get to me. Stay consistent and let the discipline do the talking.

Later that night Dalton decided to get out of bed 6 times!! Normally that would have sent me through the roof. But, armed with my new plan, I experienced success in the midst of his challenge. I simply warned him of his consequence if he did it next time and calmly put him to bed and said good night. It took another 5 times, but he hasn't done it since! And now that is my way in general. Warn, discipline, stay calm and consistent, encourage and reward good behavior. HE RESPONDS!!

These scriptures gave me confidence and helped me to see that God is expecting me to discipline my children. It is not a choice, but something I must do to train them, protect them and send them in the right direction. I must take that responsibility very seriously and not let fear, laziness or sentimentality get in the way.

Proverbs 13:24

²⁴ Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

Proverbs 19:18

¹⁸ Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;
do not be a willing party to their death.

Proverbs 22:15

¹⁵ Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.

Proverbs 23:13

¹³ Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.

Proverbs 29:17

¹⁷ Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
they will bring you the delights you desire.

Hebrews 12:11

¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I am truly enjoying him so much more now, and I am experiencing a great amount of peace as well. I hope the same for you!

Faith, Hope and Love Part 2

This morning I decided to study about HOPE in the Bible. Wow, I came away so encouraged, so amazed and grateful that God's word still inspires me and teaches me new things even after 18 years. There was much too much to cover in this post, but the overwhelming insight I gained was that HOPE IS THE WELLSPRING OF MY FAITH AND LOVE.

When I first put my hope in Jesus as a college student, I was deciding to believe in him, follow him, stay faithful to him and love others as he would love. FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE were working together, but they originated with my hope that Jesus is Lord and that one day he will appear again and take me to be with him in glory. One day he will reward me if I do not lose my firm grip on my hope. I know that if I do, my faith and love with also be lost. FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE do not exist on their own, but are interdependent. Here are some of the scriptures that inspired me: (but I encourage you to study it out on your own, it's amazing!)

Ephesians 1:18-19a I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the HOPE to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who BELIEVE.

Colossians 1:5 the FAITH and LOVE that spring from the HOPE stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel

1 Thessalonians 1:3 We remember before our God and Father your work produced by FAITH, your labor prompted by LOVE, and your endurance inspired by HOPE in our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Thessalonians 5:8 But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on FAITH and LOVE as a breastplate, and the HOPE of salvation as a helmet.

Hebrews 11:1 Now FAITH is confidence in what we HOPE for and assurance about what we do not see.

Do you see it? I was just amazed that I had never put that together before! FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE! It's God's perfect equation for our spiritual walk with him. These are the treasures stored up for us in Heaven. These are our eternal possessions.

I will close again with the scripture that I used yesterday, because it means so much more to me now:

1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE. But the greatest of these is love.

I hope this encourages you as much as it encourages me. No, I hope it encourages you more.

Only These Three Remain

Any of us, if we have been here on the earth long enough, are accustomed to pain, tragedy, rejection, loss and grief.  Trouble and hardship go hand in hand with being alive.  Jesus even promised it - "In this world you will have trouble," he said, "but take heart, I have overcome the world!" (John 16:32-33)

I have been reading the book of John for the past couple of weeks and I finished it today with an obvious change of heart - I had an undeniable sense of hope.  Paul said it too, "Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."  HOPE, they are telling us.  HOPE.  HOPE.

Hope is an incredible power.  Hope reminds you that your life is not aimless.  Hope makes even small events make sense.  It gives us vision when we feel so earthbound and small.  It fills the empty spaces with dreams and a certain future of majesty, perfection, love and beauty.  It truly gives us meaning in a life that can feel meaningless at times.  Truly, who hasn't at some point in life asked themselves, "Why am I here?"  Hope answers that question forever.

But then, as Paul says, "Hope that is seen is no hope at all."  (Romans 8:24)  It takes a great amount of faith to hold onto those dreams of what will be at the end of our lives as we remain faithful to Jesus with all of our hearts.  Faith is the spark to the flame, the gas in our engine.  Without faith we lose our hope and our dreams.

And finally, there is love.  Thankfully for me the Bible defines it for me.  I find particularly helpful the reminder that "if I have a faith that can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:2).  My faith, my service to God, my deeds for my fellow man must spring from love.  I will follow in vain if I follow for any other reason than love.  The three work together in perfect harmony, giving our hearts balance and keeping them reliant on God.

At the end of my life, which could be tomorrow or in 50 years, I will not be able to stand on what I chose for a career, how many friends I had, what my house looked like or even what people thought of me.  The only treasures that will stand the test of time are these:  "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)  Only these three remain.  God greatly treasures these three things.  If I can only take these with me, then I will give these things my attention and strive to grow.  For now, I am basking in the glow of hope.  I have a glorious future ahead!

My True Enemy

You're both Christians. You love each other. You have made vows that you take very seriously. You believe in being married just once. He's your knight and you're his princess...but you fight and you hurt one another. It just doesn't add up - until you take into consideration another factor: YOUR TRUE ENEMY. Who is your TRUE enemy? It's not your spouse, that's for sure. It's not your children or your neighbor or your boss. It's not even that person that just doesn't seem to like you. No, I've come to realize that I have a sinister, scheming, crafty snake that just won't let up and laughs whenever I hurt someone or am myself in pain. MY TRUE ENEMY IS SATAN.

Believing in God and having Jesus as Lord are the foundations of my life, but if I forget who is warring against me, I can get lost in the battle and become discouraged. I was reminded of these things a while back when our family was on a road trip that lasted over 20 hours. Usually I prepare myself with enough sleep, a good time with God and we pray together for God to bless our trip and keep us safe. But Satan had a different plan. We were so rushed getting everything ready that we didn't stop to put God first, we left exhausted and we forgot to pray. Wow, I will never forget that trip. To say the least, it was pretty awful. What could have been a bonding family time was rife with irritation, unmet expectations, and arguments, not to mention the utter pride and selfishness. Satan had a blast.

Looking back, I was confident in my ability to be a good wife and in my husband's ability to be loving and patient. My confidence was in the wrong place and Satan made the most of the opportunity. I should know by now how weak I am without God's power and that only through Him can I be what I need to be to everyone around me. It motivates me to give even more and be alert knowing what Satan is up to and how much enjoyment he receives from our strife. The following scriptures truly prove the point:

1 Peter 5:8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

1 John 5:19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.

Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

So, I know that there are forces, DARK FORCES at work in our lives, especially if we choose to follow Christ! Check out this one:

Revelation 12:17 Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to wage war against the rest of her offspring—those who keep God’s commands and hold fast their testimony about Jesus.

Bone chilling? He is watching us and preparing for our demise: anything that will make us deny Christ and give up our faith. Will our marriage discourage us? For some, yes, and Satan knows it. So, are we to live in fear and defeat? No! For every scripture about the Evil One, there are a handful more about how to conquer evil, Satan, and even death itself. These give me strength:

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Romans 8:37-39 ³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Peter 3:8-14 ⁸ Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. ⁹ Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. ¹⁰ For,

“Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil
and their lips from deceitful speech.
¹¹ They must turn from evil and do good;
they must seek peace and pursue it.
¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

¹³ Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? ¹⁴ But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.

I could list countless more, but hopefully it's clear what I am trying to say. Good always wins. We might not see it, but in the end it will all be made clear. For now, I can only take it day by day and remember to put my confidence in God and walk closely with him, being careful to obey his commands and love my family, friends and fellow disciples as Jesus would, remembering the battle at hand and keeping watch for my enemy's next move. It's worth it. It works. God's word never fails.

You are what you eat!

I'm sitting here writing this blog while I enjoy a delicious crunchy snack. Chips? Pretzels? A granola bar? Cookies? Nope! SNOW PEAS. They are amazing! Sweet, satisfying and I can eat a million without any negative effects on my shape.

Speaking of shape, I am writing this to anyone who is frustrated with theirs and can't seem to figure out what to do. That's been me for the past 5 years. I guess I can't count the two in there while I was pregnant. I do not recommend you focus on getting your shape back while you are carrying a baby. But I don't plan on having more, so NOW'S THE TIME!!

Can you relate? You know you need to work on shedding the "great unwanted" but you just don't know where to start? Or you've tried and the pounds just won't come off? Well, it finally dawned on me the other day: YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT! I was watching "Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition" last night and the lady of the week weighed 456 pounds but get this: SHE WAS MALNOURISHED!! All that food and no nutrition. So her body stubbornly held on to food trying to search for small amounts of vitamins and minerals. She was eating fast food almost exclusively, and the times she wasn't she was eating processed, quick and easy microwave meals. She was miserable.

Food isn't the enemy, it's the KIND of food that kills our dream shape. So, I have been learning so much about eating more and avoiding certain foods like an enemy to my body. The enemies I am learning about are:

1. Sugar - it raises your insulin, signaling the body to store fat. It's also processed, so your body doesn't know how to process it well.
2. Fake fats - margarine, veggie oil (not olive oil or coconut oil, they are awesome). Again, the body sees these and says, "huh?"
3. Chemicals - they overload the kidneys and liver and keep them from doing their job.
4. Processed foods - These are loaded with sodium, sugar, chemicals and trans fats - all of which are harmful to the body.
5. Many breads, crackers and baked goods - The body reads these just like sugar and again the insulin goes up.
6. Fruit juice - same problem - sugar! Even natural juice is just too much sugar for the body.

Another enemy is dehydration. I must give myself a constant flow of good clean water to keep my organs functioning well - as we have all heard, we are about 80% water anyway. I forget that so often.

We have been created by God to eat whole foods in good portions. If it's from the ground it's probably good for me. The least amount of steps it takes from the earth to my mouth, the better for my body.

It's been so satisfying to eat this way in every way. It's been fun to see the pounds come off too!

Top 5 Things that affect a garden (literally or figruatively)

If you read my blog (I hope you do!) then you know that I like to be concise and sometimes keep things to a "Top 10" or a list. Well, tonight at around 8:30 I decided to go outside and pull some weeds. Everyone was in bed (including my sick hubby) and it was cool, quiet and light out. Perfect. But while I was working, I had such a clear vision of my beautiful garden and what keeps it growing - as a metaphor for my heart as well.

I have been learning so much these past few months about gardening, but it's been inspiring me spiritually as well. In John 15 Jesus tells us that God himself is a gardener and that we are his garden. So, it's very logical that the literal things that affect the health of an actual garden match up with the figurative things that affect my heart, God's garden. As I was pulling weeds I came up with the "Top 5" things that affect my garden:

1. Literal - MOISTURE As much as my garden and flowers love the direct sunlight, they will quickly wither and die in a few days without daily moisture.
Figurative - GOD'S WORD As much as I love God, I cannot follow him without his word in my daily life.

Isaiah 55 says:
¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

The MOISTURE of water make my plants bud and flourish just as GOD'S WORD makes my heart bud and flourish.

2. Literal - WEEDS They grow quickly and will take over within weeks. They must be consistently pulled from the root so they won't choke the other plants and steal their resources.
Figurative - SIN I can't underestimate the power of my sinful nature. I must live a life of openness and take my sin seriously, removing from my heart at it's root. It's a daily battle.

Genesis 4 says: ⁷ If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.
James 5 says: ¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. I could also mention 1 John 1 and 2. These encourage me to "weed" my heart so that my sin never takes over.

3. Literal - SUNLIGHT In varying degrees plants need it to survive, especially the ones that bear fruit.
Figurative - PRAYER/INTIMACY WITH GOD We are all spiritual beings, created with a need to worship in order to survive.

John 15 says: ⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

We literally WITHER without intimacy with Jesus. We BEAR MUCH FRUIT when we are near to him.

4. Literal - SOIL Rocks, nutrients, clay, sand, slope, fertilizer and drainage all affect how well a plant will do.
Figurative - FAITH Just like a plant cannot grow without soil, spirituality cannot grow without faith.

2 Peter 1 says: ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; ⁶ and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; ⁷ and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. ⁸ For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

A nourished and fertilized faith is a productive one.

5. Literal - SENSITIVITY A good gardener knows the needs of his plants. I had a rose bush that was dying in my front yard. I moved it to another area and it thrived.
Figurative - SENSITIVITY The Spirit is always at work on God's behalf. It requires a connection to the Spirit to discern the will of God in our lives. Sensitivity also protects us from becoming religious and worshiping God out of habit or for men.

Jeremiah 29 says: ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Just like I had better plans for the rosebush, God has the perfect plan for us if we seek him wholeheartedly.

As a side note, it's interesting that gardens are usually formed out of a beautiful variety of plants existing together and enhancing the qualities of each other. I believe God's plan is for a variety of people to exist together and worship him as one, helping one another here on earth until we all stand before God one day. Personally, my heart's survival depends on it.

Take care and may your garden grow beautiful things!

Hebrews 11 Rewritten

What if Hebrews 11, instead of "by faith" everything said "by fear?"
I believe that fear is the polar opposite of faith. If we didn't have these heroes to turn to, where would we be? Let's check it out:

¹ Now FEAR is NO confidence in what we hope for and NO assurance about what we do not see.

⁷ By FEAR Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, KNEW HE SHOULD OBEY BUT THE CROWD INTIMIDATED HIM. HE AND HIS FAMILY DIED IN THE FLOOD AND THE WORLD ENDED.

⁸ By FEAR Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, IGNORED GOD, BECAUSE IT WAS TOO STRESSFUL TO NOT KNOW where he was going.

¹¹ And by FEAR even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, FORFEITED THE OPPORTUNITY to bear children because she DID NOT considered him faithful who had made the promise.

²³ By FEAR Moses’ parents DID NOT hide him FROM THE EGYPTIANS EVEN THOUGH they saw he was no ordinary child, and they WERE afraid of the king’s edict. MOSED DIED ALONG WITH ALL OF THE OTHER HEBREW CHILDREN. NO ONE CAME TO THE ISRAELITES' RESCUE.

BUT EVEN IF ANOTHER SAVIOR CAME, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITHOUT FAITH?

²⁹ By FEAR the people FAILED TO pass through the Red Sea as on dry land so, they were drowned.

³² And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, ³³ who through FEAR FAILED TO conquer kingdoms, administer justice, and gain what was promised; who WERE DEVOURED BY the mouths of lions, ³⁴ CONSUMED BY the flames, and DID NOT escape the edge of the sword; whose weakness was NEVER turned to strength; and who DID NOT become powerful in battle and route foreign armies. ³⁵ Women DID NOT receive back their dead, raised to life again.

Jesus is our savior, no doubt, but had any one of these heroes of the faith decided not to be courageous and righteous and trade fear for faith, over and over the people of God would have perished and we would not be here. Most of them faced terrifying circumstances and terrible odds, but decided to believe and overcome. I am inspired! We never know the impact we will have in the big picture by choosing faith.

Catch it While It's Wet

The other day my toddler's mucky sticky lunch was somehow catapulted off the table and onto the wall and floor. It was a horrific sight and one I did not have time for. So, the mess sat there for a few hours until I could tackle it. By the time I got to it, the ick had become one with the surfaces and it was difficult to clean. I had to scrub and go over it multiple times before it was clean again.
Note to self: CATCH IT WHILE IT'S WET!

Isn't it true? The concept applies not only to walls and muck, but to pots, pans, paint, and especially RELATIONSHIPS. Can you relate to this scenario? You have an argument with your spouse over something that, deep down inside you know is your fault but your pride keeps you from admitting it. The longer you brood over it the more difficult it is to break that wall. Had you caught it right away and told the truth, it would have been over! Ridiculous! Exhausting and a waste of time.

Or, have you ever waited for someone to ask you for their forgiveness? It's misery. The longer time goes by, the crustier that muck becomes. Jesus has great advice that helps me, but admittedly is challenging at the same time. Matthew 5:25 says "settle matters quickly" because (to paraphrase) worse things will happen if you don't. Going back to the mess on the wall, had I waited longer I might have had to damage the paint or scratch up the floor to clean the mess. Well, damage can be done to relationships too. We've all heard stories of the chasms between people that never see resolve, and then one party dies. Or how about that 60-70% divorce rate here in America? Living in Israel for almost 2 years I was saddened daily by the hatred and lack of resolve between people that resulted in countless lives lost in the futility of it all. It was heartbreaking.

Another great scripture comes to mind as well, in Ephesians 5:26-27 it says "do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." Catch a stain right away, save a shirt. Give that stain a "foothold" and the shirt is ruined. It makes sense in the physical realm as well as the emotional and spiritual realms. Just as I loathe cleaning crusty icky spills, I am troubled by emotional ones as well. I want to take care of my relationships and catch any messes while they're still wet. It's one of the most difficult things for my prideful heart, but the payoff is emotional peace. "Blessed are the peacemakers," Jesus says (Matthew 5).

Are you a mommy?

Just for smiles...
You know you're a mommy if:

1. A trip to the grocery store alone gets you all pumped up.
2. Exciting day = cleaning the whole house.
3. You regularly wear one of the following at all times on your shirt: vomit, saliva, urine, "abc" food, boogers or poop - but don't mind.
4. Your spouse can sleep through a tornado but a cough can wake you up.
5. You refer to your spouse as "Daddy".
6. You delight in what you once took for granted: long walks alone, reading, SILENCE
7. Your new idea of "sexy" is wearing something other than sweats.
8. The "s" word is taboo but you seem to say "poopie" all the time.
9. You have to say things like, "Please take your elbow out of his ear." or "No, boogers are not food."
10. Spontaneous "I love you"s make your soar to the moon.
11. You have prepared one of the following in the past week: mac n' cheese, chicken nuggets or pb&j
12. You have a short little person who looks suspiciously like you running around with your heart wrapped around his finger.
13. You're disgusted by things like farts, burps or drooling but if he is under 3 feet tall it's adorable.
14. Hand holding is a safety measure, not a romantic gesture.
15. Never before a morning person, you now jump out of bed at 5A.M. to respond to a cry.

If one or 15 of these apply to you, CONGRATULATIONS! you just might be a mommy!

Hope it made you laugh at least! Have a great week, and hang in there!

Abstinence Rocks!

Ok, so you're probably thinking, "Wow, this is a really personal issue. TMI, TMI." Of course those thoughts crossed my mind before I decided to write this blog, but I can't help it. I feel so strongly about it and it blessed me so much before I met my husband.

Yes, I will put it out there, ABSTINENCE ROCKS! Ok, when you're single that is. In marriage, I believe God wants us to enjoy a rich intimacy. We live in a world that is moving further and further away from family values, treasuring marriage, honoring virtue and just general morality. If you are young and are trying to decide which way to turn, I am speaking to you.

Here's the truth. I was a 35-year-old virgin when I married. My husband is 9 years younger than me but amazingly had also kept himself for marriage. Our first kiss was at the altar on our wedding day. It was incredible, not to mention the absolute excitement of our wedding night. I won't go into details, but it sizzled. So, are we just a couple of frigid prudes who spurn pleasure and bang our Bibles? No! We simply became true Christians at a young age and waited on God until he revealed "the one". It took much prayer, great friends, deep conviction and courage to keep ourselves for our mate. It took character to say no, trusting God even when almost all of my best friends were already happily married and had children. I clung to the promises in Psalm 37 that God would give me the desires of my heart if I delighted in him. I took comfort in the love he had for me, the love of a husband in Hosea 2. His word helped me to persevere those long years while I waited. I knew God would bless my sacrifice, and boy did he and more! We have a blessed life together and enjoy each other immensely as God intended.

Here are some blessings I have received from this important decision:
-No worries of disease or unplanned pregnancy
-Weeded out the insincere men from my life - I know my hubby married me for love, not sex
-Clear conscience before God, no fear of his discipline due to my disobedience
-Ability to stay focused because I wasn't becoming attached to men to whom I wasn't going to marry
-No baggage to bring into my marriage, no comparisons to others haunting me
-No insecurity in intimacy since we have nothing to hide or compare
-Childlike freedom in the bedroom and a childlike love between us
-Ability to give a wonderful gift to your spouse
-Wonderful trust between you and your mate
-True intimacy, where two people can connect not only in body, but in soul - the most satisfying kind
-The way purity keeps your heart soft and open towards others

I could go on and on. Intimacy goes deep, to the very soul and you can never erase it once it's been done. Like it or not it does affect your relationships and it is the source of so much destruction, insecurity and spiritual death. God loves us and knows what is best for us. He knows that his way is the best way in life and in the bedroom. Doubt me? Doubt God? Just read Song of Songs and you'll see what kind of God we serve. Jesus himself taught that following him is "life to the full" in John 10. I stand here before you and I challenge you to put these things to the test. You'll soon experience the amazing blessings of living life God's way. It never fails!

How to Live Large on a Budget - Christian Edition

My hubby is amazing. He has provided me and my two young sons with such a rich life, and we only live on around $45,000 or so combined. Here are some of the highlights:

-We own a home.
-We own two vehicles (outright).
-We take vacations.
-We eat out regularly.
-We frequently embark on recreational activities.
-We are all clothed.
-We are all fed.
-We are generous with others.
-We give gifts and throw parties.
-We tithe to our church.
-We save.

Here are my top 10 tips on living large on a budget:

1. Faithfully tithe. LIVE LARGE PROMISE : GOD WILL BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY
God promises in Malachi 3 that he will throw open the floodgates of blessing if we simply give
to him first and do it faithfully. He is our first "bill" even when we don't know how we will
make it. We serve a faithful God who promises to take care of us if we seek him first
Matthew 6:33. I could go on and on about the miraculous ways God has provided large for us
because we put him first financially!

2. Be on a budget and regularly review your spending. LIVE LARGE PROMISE: STAY OUT
OF DEBT!
Boundaries are so good for me because I am a compulsive spender. Knowing my limits helps
me to make better decisions and to learn my "needs vs wants." It's easy to overspend
without even knowing it. My husband and I review what we spend each month so we know how we are doing on keeping to our budget. The accountability is great and it reminds me to be frugal and be a good steward of what God has given us.

3. Pay cash. LIVE LARGE PROMISE: GET WHAT YOU WANT WITHOUT THE GUILT
We don't have the latest cars or toys, but what we have we own (except our home, which we
are paying for). We would rather buy used and not have a payment, then be strapped to
credit payments. Paying for things outright means living withing your means.

4. Frequently stay organized. LIVE LARGE PROMISE: YOU HAVE MORE THAN YOU REALIZE
I am amazed at the things I find while organizing, doing laundry, putting things in their proper
place, etc. I know that large amounts of money can be wasted by buying things again that are
lost due to being cluttery or disorganized. Also, items can become destroyed or lost by not
taking care of them or putting them away.

5. Be generous. LIVE LARGE PROMISE: YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW!
2 Corinthians 9:11 says: You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on
every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. I love
that! If I have it in my heart to give to others or to the poor, I need not worry if I will have
enough for myself. God himself will provide. You can't outgive God. He finds ways to bless
us when we give to others.

6. Become a home cook (and learn to eat leftovers). LIVE LARGE PROMISE: MORE PLEASURE, GOOD HEALTH, GREAT FAMILY TIME
Most of our meals are eaten at home together and I am the chef of our restaurant (well...). I
try my best to use all the food we buy without letting it go to waste. We have a dining budget
for nights out, but mostly we eat here at home. It's been a fun challenge for me to learn to
cook good, healthy meals for the family, and my boys are growing up healthy and non-picky!

7. Learn a craft or creative skill. LIVE LARGE PROMISE: DEEP SATISFACTION, GROWING IN THOUGHTFULNESS, YOUR GIFT IS THE ONE THEY WON'T FORGET!
If you are a social person, then you probably are on the guest list of many weddings, showers
and birthday parties. Nothing is more budget friendly than a homemade gift or special piece
art. But it's not only budget friendly, it's timeless and unforgettable and it shows how much
time and thoughtfulness you put into your gifts. They are always appreciated if done well.

8. Don't be too good for Goodwill. LIVE LARGE PROMISE: HIDDEN TREASURES AWAIT FOR MERE PENNIES!
I could make a day out of going to thrift stores or yard sales. I am also a big fan of Craig's List.
We have literally saved thousands of dollars by utilizing these. Personally, I like an eclectic
look, but even if you love brand-new things, you'd be surprised at what you could find.

9. Be content with what you have. LIVE LARGE PROMISE: THERE'S A MANSION AWAITING ME IN HEAVEN! WHY WASTE TIME COMPLAINING?
The Bible teaches us to be content. It also teaches us to not covet (or desire) other people's
things. Those two principles help me to say "no" when I am lusting after a purchase that I
know I don't need. I have plenty. A week after I buy that thing I "must" have, I forget about
it anyway.

10. Be creative, or ask a creative friend. LIVE LARGE PROMISE: EVEN A DIAMOND STARTS OUT AS A LUMP OF COAL...
Paint, new hardware, new knobs, decorative touches, etc. can really make a difference.
Before you buy, "shop" your own home. Is there something at home you could make over?
Or, could you get by with a new lampshade? If you can't envision it, ask your artsy friend to
come help, we all have one!

There are so many ways to save, but these have been amazing for us! Thanks for reading and good luck! I would love to hear how you are doing it as well!

Snuggle With Jesus

I can't recall what prompted my (almost) 3 year-old to say this, but the other day as I was changing him he said, "Can I have my Bible? I want to snuggle with Jesus." My heart just about stopped. Not only was his statement incredibly sweet, but profound as well. It struck me.

In his little child's heart, to read the Bible or even just to hold it is to SNUGGLE WITH JESUS. He asks me all the time, "Is Jesus in my room right now?" and "Will Jesus hold me one day?" Or he'll just look up at the sky and say, "Hi Jesus, I love you." His connection with Jesus has nothing to do with religion or doctrine or anything man has taught him. No, he is just aware of his presence, feels safe and warm in his presence and loves his presence. He somehow knows that Jesus is someone so loving, so open, so unconditional, that the natural response is a snuggle. I love it! His sweet little statement really made me check my heart: Do I view time with God as a snuggle or an obligation? Am I comforted or stressed? Do I rest in Jesus and pour out my love or am I too preoccupied with myself?

I truly want to have my son's heart and so does Jesus. In Mark 10:15 Jesus himself says, "Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Wow. So, my son is my best teacher as to what pleases God: humility, innocence, honesty, love, blind faith...I guess it's time to imitate my son for awhile. But hey, God's not asking me to be anything I don't already want to be!

The Security of No Security

With God, I have no place to hang my hat. I have nothing to believe in, nothing to depend on. I have nothing to take confidence in, nothing to rely on, EXCEPT HIM, that is. That might sound perilous, scary and unpredictable but it actually has the opposite effect. Knowing there is nothing in the world I can absolutely rely on helps me let go and cling more tightly to God.

I want to break this down so that it means a little more. I lost my father at 19, which taught me early on that every life ends. People die. I can't cling to a person for security. Jobs end, or sometimes we become disabled or aged and are disqualified for employment. Beauty fades, health is dependent on so many factors, disease is commonplace. Then there is the fact that we live among other beings who are making choices, good and bad, that affect us or even hurt us. Possessions can be stolen or broken or destroyed. Like I said, I have no place to hang my hat. I can't even be pleased when I compare myself to others, because there is always someone more beautiful, intelligent, capable, kind....

What an insecure place I'm in when I try to place my security in myself, my spouse or my achievements. This is what God says in Jeremiah 17:

⁵ This is what the LORD says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
⁶ That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.

⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

I envision a strong, unbreakable, faithful woman in verses 7-8. But I see a needy, lonely, negative, weak woman in the preceding verses. The difference? The first one put her confidence in what she sees while the second put her confidence in what she does not see. It's a powerful, daily decision to put one's trust in God, one that requires dedication to studying and applying his awesome word.

I love this promise as well, in Isaiah 40:

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

These are not just nice, religious powerless words. No, these are incredible truths, words to live by. I dare you! Go ahead and put your full confidence in God and see the miracles that come. Not only will you be more confident than ever before, but you will be amazed at how he will change your life.

A Mother's Special Blessing

"Blessings, like dollars, are usually counted more when times are tough."

Isn't it true? I know I can become so involved in the day's events that I don't spend enough time truly counting my blessings, UNTIL I HAVE TO!! Isn't there something wrong with that picture?
So, here I am, on Mother's Day, with a few moments with which to steep in my blessings like a good cup of tea.

As a mother, I must admit, God has offered me some "special" blessings that I want to share on this amazing day.

1. I was given the opportunity to be pregnant, give birth and nurse two wonderful little boys. I GAVE THEM LIFE!
2. I get at least 10 hugs per day.
3. I am responsible to these little beings for everything - food, clothing, life lessons...it motivates me to be the best I can be (and watch what I do and say!).
4. Each day I spend at least an hour laughing.
5. Someone calls me "mommy".
6. My lap is the only lap in town that gives the best snuggles.
7. I am magical! A kiss from my lips can cure anything!
8. I have someone to sing with, skip with, tickle, be silly with and laugh with.
9. I have the best life teachers around, constantly reminding me to be like Jesus: apologize quickly, hug often, be gentle, share, help, give....
10.Right now, everything I do is super cool and amazing (I know that will change in a few years)!

I am actually tearing up as I write this because those are only the tangibles. There are countless others, such as watching them sleep so angelically, or the way they search my face so wide-eyed for the answers. The adorable way they respond to discipline, being so earnest to change, and their thousand questions per day because the world is so brand-new.

Yes, being a mother has its unique blessings. I praise God that he chose that path for me. I couldn't imagine my life without my sons. I also have come to understand my own parents and especially my Heavenly Father so much better. Thank you, Lord, for this indescribable gift!!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Royal Wedding

I was drawn to the Royal Wedding. It is one of those rare events in which the elements of glory, majesty, luxury and spirituality come together in a magical way. It is a modern-day fairy tale. It reminds us that there is more to life than the "daily grind." It is the closest visual we might have to the ultimate wedding day, when Jesus comes to claim his bride. The music was heavenly and majestic and, to be quite honest, it was just great eye candy! The hats, the dresses, the jewels...the preparations took months and thousands toiled night and day. It was perfection. It transported me to a different place for a moment.

I expected certain elements to be there, but I never expected such a moving and unforgettable address by Reverend Dr. Richard Chartres, Bishop of London. I wanted to remember certain things he said, and I wanted to share them with you as well, including the scripture read by Kate's brother, James Middleton.

James read from Romans 12:

I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God-- what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave room for the wrath of God; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." No, "if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

And these are the quotes which moved me from the Royal Wedding Address:

"Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be: their deepest and their truest selves.
In a sense, every wedding is a royal wedding...

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each other. And spiritual life grows as love finds its center beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this: the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul. The more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed.

In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life. It is, of course, very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centeredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing, but that the hope should be fulfilled, it is necessary that a solemn decision is made: that whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

Marriage should transform as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform, so long as we don’t harbor ambitions to reform our partners. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow. Each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase: “When mastery cometh, the god of love, anon, beateth his wings and farewell, he is gone.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the west, there's been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We're all incomplete. We all need the love which is secure rather than oppressive. We need mutual forgiveness in order to thrive. But as we move toward our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light."

Words to remember, words to live by.